A Scrabble tile holder surrounded by Scrabble tiles, holding tiles that spell out "Cheating"

If You Cheat On Someone, You Don’t Truly Love Them

Now before anyone starts yelling at me, let me explain.

Do I believe that statement? Honestly, yes.

I don’t understand how cheaters can say they still love the person they’ve cheated on. Cheating shows a wandering of your emotions (and/or body). It shows that your heart isn’t fully devoted to the person you cheated on – why else would you cheat on them?

I dated someone in the past who would flirt with other girls. So yes, I do have some experience on this, even if it wasn’t physical cheating. Flirting with other girls counts, even if the person doesn’t have the intent to do anything further. It’s emotional cheating.

I don’t understand how a person could claim they love someone, say it to that person’s face, then turn around and do or say things with someone else. Why would you do that to the person you supposedly love? That, to me, is one of the meanest and most hurtful things you could do to someone.

Maybe it’s because the person isn’t fully satisfied with their relationship. But in that case, talk about it. Don’t hook up or flirt with other people just because your relationship isn’t fully doing it for you. I understand it’s not always easy to discuss things like this, but if you take the time to plan out what you say and phrase things right, your relationship will be better for it.

And please don’t give me that “I had to wander and experiment with someone else to realize I truly wanted to be with my partner.” That makes no sense. If you’re questioning whether to stay with your partner, then take a break. Don’t hook up or flirt with someone else to “just make sure.” And again, there’s always the option of talking things out.

If you feel yourself being attracted to someone else when you’re already in a relationship, you need to sit down and decide if you want to go after this other person. If so, give up the relationship. I know that sounds harsh, but the person you’re dating doesn’t deserve to be cheated on.

If you have the ability to be attracted to someone else, then it appears to me like you were never fully devoted to your significant other in the first place, even if you do stay with them and not the person you cheated with.

Even if the person you’re cheating on never finds out, it’ll be something you have to carry with you, a guilty weight that’ll press on you for the rest of the relationship. It’ll be something you will carry with you through all your future relationships, especially with that possibility of cheating on them as well.

*Originally posted on Odyssey

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